The Arrival of Captain Bob's Mis-Guided Tours

When my sister, Denise, and I realized that our dad had set us up for the ultimate Thelma and Louise adventure, we were already in too deep.  We were sitting on the plane on our way to Colorado to place his ashes on an island in a lake in the middle of the Rocky Mountains.   We were reminiscing about the crazy times of our nomadic childhood.  It wasn't the stories themselves that were all too funny, it was the varying perspective that each of us had as we remembered those times.

I would like to share some of the stories that truly stood out for the both of us.  I'm not sure if you will find them as amusing as we did but I hope you will be entertained non the less.

There was the time we enjoyed a week at the Hidden Valley Dude Ranch near Lake George.  We tried every activity, as it was imperative that we tried everything just once.  We were having a blast until it was time for archery, when my dad picked up a cracked arrow and proceeded to shot it directly threw his hand.  He didn't scream or cry like most normal, rational human beings might but advised us calmly that we needed to take a trip to the hospital to remove the arrow.  When we went to the lobby to ask them to call for an ambulance and my dad stood with the wood of the arrow out one end of his hand and feathers out the other and an attorney standing nearby us said, "I'll drive you to the hospital" and proceeded to hand him a business card.  Of course my father wouldn't dream of suing anyone, as that just wasn't the right thing to do in his mind but instead wrapped his heavily bandaged hand in plastic bags with duct tape so he could still participate in the greased watermelon contest in the swimming pool the next day.  Nothing would stop Captain Bob from making sure his family had a good time.

Another time that we were all body surfing at the beach in Wild Wood, New Jersey and my mom gets hit by an enormous wave which proceeds to take the top to her bikini bathing suite out to sea.  Of course my mom has no idea she was flashing the world and stood up to look for her family.  My dad spots this from about 200 feet away and is trying to wave her down to tell her what has happened  but the noise of the waves were just too loud, so she proceeds to wave back joyously as everyone from the beach applauded.

One of our favorite stories was the time that my sister Denise had received a brand new beautiful coat for Easter.  Captain Bob decides it would be great to take a unplanned spin to the Trexler Game Park to enjoy the animals.  It' wasn't until my sister started to screech when we noticed that she was pinned up to the fence of the camel area because the camel had began to eat her new coat while she was wearing it.  Fortunately or unfortunately her arms didn't come out of the sleeves so we didn't loose the whole coat, however, when we pulled it out of the camels mouth and it was covered in green slime, she vowed never to where the coat again.

There were many more great stories that I'm sure we will choose to share but the greatest joke of all was on us as we checked into our great hotel.  It wasn't the fact that the room was the size of a postage stamp with bunk beds,

the fact that we could hear the band playing in town about a mile away because the walls were so thin in our cabin or the fact that the neighbors were so close that we felt like we were in summer camp.  It was the fact that someone built a cabin on the side of a mountain with an amazing view and didn't have the brains to put a window in the room so you could see it.

What's wrong with this picture.

Tonight we had a great dinner at my dad's favorite restaurant, The Rapids
and tomorrow we will take our pontoon boat out onto the lake to put half of my dad's ashes to rest.  We will see what the day brings us but either way we know, that it will contain lots of laughs and lots of good memories.

Have a great night and here is the quote of the day.
"I'm gonna call the front desk and ask if they have horseback riding..........oh wait........there's no freakin phone in this walk in closet.  What the heck?"

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